the choice

so once again we meet after so long a part...

i kinda like the fact that no one reads this,
or atleast i think no one does.
it's good for me to vent
or to say things i couldn't or choose not to say to another...
if anyone reads this, well,
this is the other side of me i guess,
for those who don't read this, well,
you wouldn't have to be concerned
with what i have to say
if you don't read it now would you?? hehe

i have a choice to make,
it's a big choice and the sooner i make it,
the easier the future will be to shape.
i could live without making this choice for a little while,
but then i would be neglecting my true thoughts.
the choices are:
i could let go and move on
i could hang on and hope
i could wait and let the decision make its self
now i know i should count on my problems soving it's self,
but can you blame me??
it seems to be the easiest way out of this predicament.

the people i trust most with my heart
and my confidings are not the appropriate
people to talk to at this moment.
i wish i had someone to walk me through
yet another one of these stages in life.
my friends would say:
up to you,
go for it,
and don't let another slip away
everyone else, i'm sorry but you opinions
don't hit me in the gut like these few do
from my very close friends.

every time something like this happened to me,
i chickened out or i took a chance
and it didn't work.
but "that was then and this is now," i can hear them say
but it doesn't seem appropriate at this very moment in time
it doesn't feel fair to others
and i must think of the others...

just a little word of wisdom,
just a little hit of hope and confidence,
just a little nudge in the right direction
is all i can hope for right now...