endless smiles

a light, cool breeze on your skin,
the sun smiling on you,
graceful scents of flowers tickle your smile,
not one worry exists in your mind,
there are no schedules or obligations,
just an open field to run in and
endless hours to enjoy all of it.

so tired...

my limbs feel like lead,
my eyeslids feel like they have magnets for eyelashes,
pulling towards each other.
i struggle to keep them apart.

the ground calls out to my head to caress it,
my back begs to be released of the stress put on it,
my ear longs for my pillow,
instinct brings me to the fetal position.

please, let me go,
so that i can rest,
so that i can dream my dreams of
everlonging adventures and love.

someone...

i want a guy,
who ever he may be...
i want to have him,
to hold him...

but i don't understand...
no matter how much i want this guy,
i can never accept anyone to fill in his annonymous shoes...
i've had candidates...
why is it that i can't accept anyone??
i being so picky, it's becoming annoying.


i sat there with his hands in mine,
i felt safe and happy.
but i did not and will not accept his offer,
i won't let him pass that friendship line...
why??

i just don't understand why i can't be satisfyed with anyone...
it seems so hopeless...should i give up??
i'll leave my feelings to myself...


i sleep so i can have my perfect guy,
because i know i have no choice but to let him go after i wake up,
and i have no strings attached,
he will never disappoint me, never be unsatisfying,
he is perfect, but sadly annonymous...