ramblings of love

i need to talk to someone...
i think i've found love, i think i've found what i've been wishing and hoping for all these years. i don't mean to brag or make anyone uncomfortable but i am so filled with love that i can't hold it in!!
i have never felt this happy before in my life and i have never been so comfortable with a guy like this ever!! i don't know what to do, i feel like i could fly or do the impossible!! i'm always thinking about him and i never want to leave him when we're together. he gave me my first kiss and he's taken my heart away. (in a good way)
i wish... i don't need to wish for anything, i have everything i could ever wish for in him!! love is such an understatement for what i feel and i can't figure out the words to really describe how i feel.
like they say, patience is a virtue. i didn't have all the patience in the world, but right when i decided to be patient and stop looking so hard, he came into my life.
i was willing to let go of the one thing i had wished for since i was old enough to care about this kind of stuff, and i guess such a sacrifice on my side gave me the one thing i was trying so hard to find.
my heart can never be calm anymore, every time i think of him or i'm with him, my heart flutters. he makes me want to become a better person and he has made me happier within this past week than i have ever been in my entire life!! i love him so much and i just wanted someone to be able to truly understand how i felt.
thank you for letting me tell you of my love and i hope i didn't make you feel any negative emotion. the last thing i want to do is to make someone else unhappy.
takusan no dakishimeru...
itsumo aishiteru Hideo-kun!!!

confusion

one half of me tells me to let go,
the other tells me to stop running

it feels a little too good to be true thou...
i think i'm clouding the line between the two...

the question still remains... what to do...

the choice

so once again we meet after so long a part...

i kinda like the fact that no one reads this,
or atleast i think no one does.
it's good for me to vent
or to say things i couldn't or choose not to say to another...
if anyone reads this, well,
this is the other side of me i guess,
for those who don't read this, well,
you wouldn't have to be concerned
with what i have to say
if you don't read it now would you?? hehe

i have a choice to make,
it's a big choice and the sooner i make it,
the easier the future will be to shape.
i could live without making this choice for a little while,
but then i would be neglecting my true thoughts.
the choices are:
i could let go and move on
i could hang on and hope
i could wait and let the decision make its self
now i know i should count on my problems soving it's self,
but can you blame me??
it seems to be the easiest way out of this predicament.

the people i trust most with my heart
and my confidings are not the appropriate
people to talk to at this moment.
i wish i had someone to walk me through
yet another one of these stages in life.
my friends would say:
up to you,
go for it,
and don't let another slip away
everyone else, i'm sorry but you opinions
don't hit me in the gut like these few do
from my very close friends.

every time something like this happened to me,
i chickened out or i took a chance
and it didn't work.
but "that was then and this is now," i can hear them say
but it doesn't seem appropriate at this very moment in time
it doesn't feel fair to others
and i must think of the others...

just a little word of wisdom,
just a little hit of hope and confidence,
just a little nudge in the right direction
is all i can hope for right now...